Hairy Body for Mens
Apparently "manscaping" — the act of pruning a man's body hair, the way you might a topiary — is becoming more mainstream in the U.K. at least. According to recent research by Wahanda Spa, "the demand for male waxing in the UK has risen 56 percent while keeping everything neat, tidy and inside the lines with subtle 'manscaping' has more than doubled in popularity over the last 12 months, " the Daily Mail reported.
This is obviously a great excuse for us all to talk about male body hair. Mentally play some harp music and envision a blurry scene change and let's explore in a point/counterpoint...
Point: The Case For Hairy Men, by Michelle Ruiz
When I see the rare hairless cat in the wild, or catch Mr. Bigglesworth in Austin Powers, it makes me shudder. I feel pretty much the same way about hairless guys. The way I see it, real men have hair—the darker and more plentiful, the sexier. Hair on the arms, legs, chest, Happy Trails and beyond — I love it everywhere.
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My attraction to hairy males is pretty animal, really. Infant boys and pre-2013 Justin Bieber are adorable, asexual beings with no body hair. But grown men, if they're really lucky, have sprouted a downy coating of fur that clearly lets women know that they're virile beasts. If hair comes from testosterone, and testosterone powers the male sex drive, it only follows that copious hair = Sex God.
Exhibit A: Can you even imagine a cleanly-waxed Burt Reynolds on the bearskin? (That's a rhetorical question.) What would you run your fingers through or nuzzle your head on post-coitally — slick, baby-smooth skin?
To be fair, I've done my research and I've had it both ways. Years ago, I *spent some time* with a man who shaved his chest (as well as abs and nether regions). He was very attractive and sweet, so I looked the other way at first. But a few days post-shave, his bare chest devolved into stubble, and it felt like my entire body was being slowly combed with a boar bristle brush.
Later, I married a man of ideal, rugged hairiness — not a full-blown Sweater for All Seasons, when the bushes of man-hair are so thick, you can't even see his skin — but a soft, cozy, lightweight blanket of sexiness. "I LOVE your hairy chest, " I routinely announce to him. He rolls his eyes, but I note that he would never dream of shaving it. Which is another reason why I like Man-Wolves: Their billowing hair says, "IDGAF about grooming; I'm just letting my wild manliness grow free."
That indifference is far hotter to me than a guy who schedules and reports to a regular wax appointment, which apparently is what a new wave of metrosexuals are doing in the UK, requesting more "back, crack, and sac" grooming. I wouldn't want to meet any of them on a bearskin rug.
Counterpoint: The Case For the Hairless, by Achelle Dunaway
For me, fur is always in style for fashion, but never — I REPEAT never — when it comes to a man's body hair. I like my men bare — not hairy like an actual bear. I'm talking zip, zilch, zero curly hair over their entire bodies. I just think men look hotter when they are smooth and sleek. Plus, you can lick and kiss their hair free bodies without fear that you'll have to pick out any strays from your teeth. Gross.
I'm also not a fan of back hair. Absolutely not. Can you say deal breaker? And gag, don't even get me started if the happy trail leads to some lower foliage if you get what I'm saying. I also simply don't want to have to part the sea of strands to get to the treasure. Don't guys know that manscaping makes his man part look BIGGER? Win-win. Regardless, my thinking is: wax it, tweeze it, Nair it — whatever — just please remove it!
Now, I've been exposed to hairy dudes before and it's not to say that I'm not still dating said guys because they had a rug on their chest. But I'm not saying it wasn't because they had more hair than I prefer. We just weren't a match. Listen, I get that not every man is down with being totally hairless by choice. Nor does every man comes pre-packaged as a hair-free god. But, if I do start dating a man that I actually like and find out that he has body hair, all I ask is that he trims that mess. That said, I've learned this can be a delicate issue, since not every man wants to be smooth all over like the skin of a summer squash. So I try to serve it to him straight and say: "Your body is not a wonderland. I need a road map to get through that forest... can we please handle this?" If he's down, then it's game ovaries for me. If not, NEXT!